Change
It's about 11pm and I just got back from a 4 day seminar which just ended tonite at about 10.45pm. I was there since 2pm. It's very encouraging to know the first few sentence my mom said to me was to scold me for very little things. But of course it would have been my cousin making a mountain out of the mole hill over a small matter to make my mom scream at me like that. haha..reminds me i have to get the "I Not Stupid Too" dvd for my mom quick. She really needs it.
Today I wanted to talk about change. I guess change is inevitable. We can't run away from it. We are constantly changing, be it for better or for worst. Sometimes we ourselves doesn't know we have changed and when people try to tell us we go NAH~! where got change? Same what...
We change subconciously whether we like it or not. Mankind evolves with time. That's why we change constantly. The environmental factors, our friends, family, relatives, and bf or gf will all have a weightage on how we change. Most of the time the person you love most will have a higher weightage. That's most prolly cause you would sacrifice certain things for them.
How do we deal with changes in our friends or family then? If it's better i'm sure you will accept with all your heart. If it's for the worst then I guess you have to accept then advice them about it lor. Everything comes in a package. I can't say i like this about you and you can keep it. What I don't like please change. But like my previous entry, the change is good or bad we can't really tell so fast. Only passage of time will tell.
Short note: Who wants to see my Chiang Mai photos please leave a comment. I send you invite ok.
posted by Jack at Tuesday, April 04, 2006
3 Comments:
interesting that u mentioned bout change, i was thinkin along the lines of change about couples who wanna 'stay' together before they get married..
the premise is this, if we are an ever-changing life form, the evolution process never-ending ranging from our characters, personalities, thinking, appearance and general preference and taste of life, why would we deem a trial period of living together be the appropriate risk measurement before tying the knot to ACTUALLY live together under the same roof. does it matter if u've had that trial period? i'd think that everyday is a trial, whether with or without the ring, but the difference is that u already know if you can utter that magical contractual binding, sometimes burdening words of 'for better or worse, in sickness and health' and that's more important isnt it? if u can say it and mean it, it's better than any perceived trial period. it's evitable we all change, and will change.
tell me more about what you think..
the trial period is more or less to let you find out more about the other person. Chinese have a saying which is being together is easy but staying together is hard. all of us have different characteristics inside and outside the comfort zone. there are times even as frens yumcha, movie, tar kei all is fine. Until you go on a holiday with them and you feeeeeeeel like strangling them.
after living together, you might find that the person may not be the 'right' 1. minimizing the risk of marrying the wrong person and goin thru a divorce wich is deemed wrong in spiritual point of view.
but my proposition is that, if we are continually changing, we may be deemed 'right' today, but tomorrow, we may change, and not be 'right' for one another.. it is not perceived that we are so easily changed, but the whole idea of having a trial period is more or less to gauge who we are, and then later on compare any indifferences to who we were that time, forsaking the fact that we are evolutionary creatures.
what i would like to find out is how much of us wants to know the emotional compatibility and understanding each other's traits and personalities as opposed to finding out the sexual competency of each's partner in that trial period. emotional connections can be established without being under the same roof, but sexual preference? or am i disillusioned by how far our society has progressed that by the time we moved in together we're understanding how selfish and stupid we can be when we're indulging in thinking about the wearing the suffocating ring and all other aspects have already been considered to desired extents.
it's the vows that scares us all, that makes it feel so restricted yet again, the vows' original intentions are that we remain faithful and fruitful to each other and each other alone. I hate the way flippin yuppies and the Gen Y are elevating intelligence to new levels and proclaiming such self-evident truths that infidelity is a right to choose and it soon becomes dogmatic.
i'm a little side-tracking but what i'm saying that it's all in the mind, what we are thinking about, what society causes us to think, and obviously our natural risk averse instincts causes us to think that maybe having a trial period is for the benefit of us all, but let me quote if our intentions of this are unpure, all we're getting from it is pain, sorrow and despair. the
right' feeling in that period does not last forever, nor does it set any precedent for future behaviour. understand the vows, and think again i say.
Post a Comment
<< Home